vice published my ~1460-word list
- books
- taipei (2013)
- richard yates (2010)
-
- shoplifting from american apparel (2009)
- cognitive-behavioral therapy (2008)
- eeeee eee eeee (2007)
- bed (2007)
- you are a little bit happier than i am (2006)
- ebooks
- hikikomori with ellen kennedy (2007)
- today the sky is blue and white with bright blue spots and a small pale moon and i will destroy our relationship today (2006)
- this emotion was a little e-book (2006)
- fiction
- jawbreaker's major-label album
- relationship story
- we will drink our coffee and complete our novels and lay in sunlight and sit in darkness
- the 'can't concentrate' manatee
- the nearly-severely depressed bird
- the existentially fucked megamouth shark
- the disappointed ant
- the vegan muffin
- the gay stepdad
- lisa jarnot
- love is a thing on sale for more money than there exists
- leftover crack in red hook
- sasquatch
- october
- friday
- essays
- the future of the novel
- koko, the 'talking' gorilla
- 'almost transparent blue' by ryu murakami
- 'honored guest' by joy williams
- 'woodcutters' by thomas bernhard
- how to be considerate on the internet
- how to give a reading on mushrooms
- 'great american novelist'
- 10 blogging platforms
- 3 movies i liked
- 3 documentaries by werner herzog
- 'best of young american novelists 2'
- 'kmart realism'
- exactly what i want
- what i can tell you about seattle based on the people i've met from there
- the levels of greatness a fiction writer can achieve in america
- good/bad in art
- poems/relationships
- the word 'nice'
- cho seung-hui's killing rampage
- accounts
- being arrested for 'trespassing' nyu's bookstore
- the great american dialogue about the new yorker's '20 under 40' list
- marina abramovic, 'the staring woman at moma'
- 'audrey' from 'shoplifting from american apparel'
- germany
- sex after not seeing each other for a few days
- reading at 'elliot bay'
- other
- 'the great gatsby' livetweet
- mushrooms liveblog
- 'the hobbit' livetweet
- what i typed on mushrooms on october 23 2011
- top 10 reasons you should read this article
- top 10 unpublished articles of 2011
- top 10 worst fruits to get blowjobs from
- top 10 animals that don't have asses
- top 5 low-level conspiracies jesse eisenberg should accidentally discover
- poetry
- the earliest use of the word ‘sarcastic’
- i see cupcakes exploding
- i was in japan in 1991 or 1992 looking out a window
- i feel weird, like my favorite book is a novelization of 'metroid'
- i felt happy without drinking coffee today
- opposite of song of myself
- i know at all times that in four hours i will feel completely different
- room night
- that was bad; i shouldn't have done that
- the mfa in hamsters
- walking home in cold weather
- i will like the things that i dislike, hate, or am indifferent towards
- in manhattan on 29th street
- music writing
- re 'favorite music of 2012'
- re 'the majority of people are decoys'
- re 'kicked it in the sun'
- playlist re 'richard yates'
- playlist re 'shoplifting from american apparel'
- playlist re 'cognitive-behavioral therapy'
- playlist re 'eeeee eee eeee'
- playlist re 'bed'
- playlist re 'you are a little bit happier than i am'
- charts/graphs
- the contemporary short story
- 'kmart realism' contextualized
- interviews
- sam pink
- ben lerner
- jeff rosenstock
- stza crack
- malcolm gladwell
- tony o'neill
- noah cicero
- chelsey minnis
- michael earl craig
- mazie louise montgomery
- deb olin unferth
- todd hasak-lowy
- matthew rohrer
- joy williams
- stacey levine
- chris killen
- stephen elliott
- stephen dixon
5 Comments:
dat's fucking sick yo. dope ass. ey yo gucci mane says yo site is gucci swag.
cool.
it must be possible to find out the forms of despair by reflecting on the factors which constitute the self as a synthesis. The self is made up of infinitude and finitude. but this synthesis is a relation, and a relation which, though derived, relates to itself, which is freedom. the self is freedom. but freedom is the dialectical element in the categories of possibility and necessity. in the main, however, despair must be considered under the aspect of consciousness; it is whether or not despair is conscious that qualitatively distinguishes one form of despair from another. granted, when raised to the level of a concept all despair is conscious, but it does not follow that the person who is in despair, the one who according to the concept may be said to despair, is himself conscious of it. thus consciousness is the decisive factor. in general, what is decisive with regard to the self is consciousness, that is to say, self-consciousness. the more consciousness, the more will; the more will, the more self. someone who has no will at all is no self. but the more will he has, the more self-consciousness he has too.
- Lil Wayne
tao, i feel so misunderstood, like i want to have a social life and live out all the memorable moments like you see on those corny ass movies but i'm so socially handicapped. i want to be a social creature licking out of people's social tits. tao, what do i do? help me! i get nervous breakdowns and depressions.
don't take away the light from me, tao. fuck nietzsche. i want to believe in tolstoy. i want to believe that there's still love in its purest spiritual form without distinction, no matter how soppy and self-deluding that might sound. but fuck dogma and organized indoctrinations; i want to believe in goodness, as strength, as a meaningful purpose, as a design for this consciousness and life, and i want to believe that these can exist as a higher drive, a "virtue", without the explicit conception of morality and any written manifestation of it. but i can't just turn my back to all the corruption that exists inside and outside of myself; is the illusion finally scattering like a mist inebriating my vision of a fading street lamp, a lighthouse of mysticism? a star collapses, dies, and is born again as if all of recorded history is a blip, just a wisp of a cosmic breath. that's 100 billion human "lives" having absorbed oxygen, co2, and nitrogen into their lungs, regardless of how long this mechanical process continued to form a personal human narrative, over the course of a brief flash in a star's life. human life? affirmation of life? life is competition and struggle, the way biology dictates it they say. then perhaps all my emotions for you is a pretext for "i want to fuck you and control you", but deep down inside (whatever that really means) i also recognize that i want the best for you and want to share happiness, maybe not as far as to say that you are me and vice versa since i've never known you in real life, but at least as a human being toward whom i've developed a fond attachment and connection for (in my own delusional way, at least, in front of the computer screen). then why should i even feel jealous? because i can't be the one to share this "happiness"? is this mere bourgeois sentimentality? is this hypocrisy and a lie? am i being weak? a weak egoist? if i'm truly good, would i even care whether i'm being weak or strong? what is happiness for you? peace and calm? struggle and overcoming? violence and lust? am i writing this to expect something from you, to hope to win your approval? if i say no, would that always be a lie to you? i can always keep this to myself. intentions and sincerity. you'd think you always know my intentions, but i did things presupposing how you would see my intentions (though often with rather unwanted outcome). but again, i lack life experience, i lack that subtle astuteness into the psychology of the opposite sex. anyways, if i'm truly good, i should overlook this, and don't care whether i'm being misunderstood by this object to whom i wish the best in life without getting my ego mixed into the equation.
who is tao? what is tao? sam is a frame of reference. tao is girl of my dreams. tao is woman. tao is love. tao is magic. so it doesn't matter any more. the words i throw into this void isn't necessarily for the sam of montreal, of prostitution, of webcam girls, of cocaine addiction, of drug dealing, of having too many one night stands, of bloody fist fights, of racing downtown at 3 in the morning, of pleasurable escapades to the bathroom stalls, of international human trafficking, of underground network of criminal organizations, of illegal sale of weapons on the black market. but, it's for you, tao. i want to cuddle with you.
Post a Comment
<< Home